IF THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE, CHANGE YOUR GLASSES

Why do we get so caught up in what is happening on the other side of the fence?  The grass is not greener and to believe it is requires a change in how we are viewing the scenery.  In addition to changing our glasses to take in this new view, our attention requires a full turnabout and eyeful of what is going on in our own yard and life.  He or she is not any better than me or you physically or materially and it is important to realize that to green up our own grass, we need to start taking care of it. 

I am zeroing in on comparison being the thief of joy because that is the darn truth.  We will always be at different levels of health, looks, and financial status and that is just how the world works.  The important thing is to make the best out of what we have, celebrate who we are at this moment, and work on becoming a better self than we were yesterday. I refuse to waste my time worrying about someone else’s grass and let the weeds infest mine.

I do not have the fanciest house, the most expensive car or clothes, the straightest teeth or legs for that matter, but that is all a part of where I am in life and I am happy with that.  I will never have the butt of a twenty something, a few wrinkles have appeared on my 50+ face, and I have hardware in my neck and again, I accept who I am and can only work on taking care of the body that walks this earth.  I am not saying that it is not OK to dream about wanting something because that can be a goal and is fun to think about.  What robs the very life out of a person is becoming jealous and bitter because “Sally Sue or Jimmy Joe” seems to have the best body, clothes, home, car, spouse, and the list can continue forever. 

When the “grass is greener” analogy gets in the way of seeing our life in a healthy way is when disenchantment and unhappiness develops.  Our constant gaze into someone else’s yard is keeping us from taking care of ourselves and becoming who we are meant to be physically and emotionally.  Also, the view is always skewed when looking at the outward appearance of another and what you see is not always what is truly lived. That is the irony of this whole thing because the physical view does not show unhappiness, debt, stress, depression, and all that flare may only be a mask to hide unhealthiness that is not seen.  Now, when a change in our glasses takes place and our focus is turned to taking care of our self physically and emotionally, many times it opens our eyes to the truth and we can finally see the weeds growing in the grass of that other yard.  The best part is our attention will be on tending to our own grass and greening up the areas in our life that will create healthier happier people.  

I dedicate this Blog to my dog Oscar Boy who went to heaven on Monday night. He was a precious part of our family for seventeen years.  I will miss you dearly my Lil Old Man, RIP and I can only imagine you are running free playing with your brother Mayer now. Forever loved ~

My final moments with Oscar, I miss you today

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Me and Oscar a few months ago

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Darla

WANTING A HOT BODY IS NOT ALL ABOUT VANITY

I want a hot body and there is nothing wrong with that.  In fact, I believe that health and fitness play a large role in finding the fountain of youth and I am implementing that into maintaining my “hot body” philosophy.  I feel honored to have joined the 50+ club and that does not mean I am supposed to change in some way and enter into a doom and gloom frump sorority for women.  I believe that age is just a number and what I think in my mind is what I feel in my body and soul.  Health will always be my priority, but I am not going to lie and tell you that I do not want my body to look good in and out of my clothes.  There should be one of those “snarky e-cards” that states “I do not want a hot body…said no woman ever”. In fact, let me create that for you.

Being healthy and fit feels sexy, and when it is just me and the mirror, I like what I see and enjoy the confidence that goes along with that.  We are all our own worst critics and will always find something that can be improved and as long as that is kept under control, meaning it is not an obsessive thing, there is nothing wrong with wanting to work on achieving goals.  The point will always be for me to focus on being a better me than yesterday given my genetics and medical issues, and also acceptance of what I can do with this 50+ body.  I am getting older and feeling pretty frisky about being fifty.  The fact that I can still fit into the same size that I wore in high school is pretty exciting, and I am all about trendy and refuse to wear the “mom” jeans.  Wanting a hot body is not all about vanity, but about what feels good for myself, and quality of my life physically and emotionally.

Maintaining a hot body has so many health, self, and relationship benefits that I would be crazy not to stay plugged into this lifestyle.  I want to look good naked, feel good in clothes, and enjoy great sex with my hubby, which are all easier with a fit physique.  It really is the confidence gained that enables such a feeling of contentment and accomplishment.  The hot body is only the result of living the healthy lifestyle and what a great side effect to reflect outwardly.  There is a sense of pride that goes along with the fruits of my labor, and it really keeps me wanting for more.  Each sweaty workout session may be hard but even going through those motions, I feel awesome and sexy. Wanting a hot body is a motivation and keeps me plugged into having fun with what I can do next to keep improving. 

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Darla and Don, Fit at 50+

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Darla

WORRY LESS AND SWEAT MORE

Sometimes we can get caught up in worrying about so much in this life, and even things that may never happen.  Worry is definitely a thief of our happiness and will dictate our attitude for the day.  It can become a chronic way of thinking and existing, and not only zaps our energy, but can be exhausting for those around us.  Whenever I feel a worry, I stop and think about the cause and ask myself if it is warranted.  Sometimes worry just does not make sense, and the root cause many times is fear or insecurity about something.  The “What If” this or that kind of worry when nothing definite has even revealed itself.  I found one of the best ways to beat up that kind of mentality is to sweat more.  I get my butt going and use that energy on a high energy workout like HIIT (high intensity interval training) or weight training.

Studies have shown that consistent exercise reduces stress and guess what, that includes the stress that comes from worry.  I use my workout sessions as “cheap man’s” therapy and also as my time to talk with God about what the heck is going on that is making me feel worrisome or anxious.  The more I work and sweat it through, the better I feel.  Most of the time I feel relief, calm, and energized all at the same time after a therapy sweat session.  I do not want to waste my time and energy dragging down my mental game and overall attitude on unnecessary worry.  Not only am I moving my body in a challenging way, but also relieving my mind of the clutter that is taking up precious space. 

The”worry less and sweat more” philosophy provides a healthier lifestyle and the ability to cope with the day to day obligations and responsibilities in life. I feel like I am missing out on something very important for me if I do not sweat it out. My day just feels off, not as accomplished and even tension filled because I did not get that bottled energy out. I like to face head on in the gym any feelings that are questionable as worry and I am not one to just ignore me and think everything is going to fix itself.  I am a doer and a sweater to help maintain a positive outlook, reduce stress and eliminate unnecessary worry.  I am all about not sweating the small stuff but using sweating more to worry less.  

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FIT AT 50! 

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A Sweat More Worry Less Workout feels FABULOUS!

Darla

WHEN IT COMES TO SEX AND MENOPAUSE, USE IT OR LOSE IT

Let me clarify before I continue writing this article that my stance with sex is that it belongs and is a big part of a healthy marriage. The issue with sex and menopause, or even going through the premenopausal period brings lots of changes to the female body that can negatively impact our sex lives. I do cover all things health related and never to offend, but hopefully to motivate, inspire, educate, or get us thinking about our lives in a healthier way.  I have joined the ranks of the 50+ woman and feel that it is important to speak out about subjects that we all want to talk about, but seem to hide behind closed doors feeling ashamed, embarrassed, or in denial.  Whatever the case may be, please know that no woman will escape going through menopause, we all have this in common, and it is pretty awesome to think that there is a support system to lean on for answers.

I am just going to blurt it out, when it comes to sex and menopause, use it or lose it ladies.  As our hormones plummet to nothing, ugly things start to happen to the vaginal and surrounding tissue of the urethra.  Our once plumped up beautiful flower has started to wither away making pollination something of a challenge to say the least. What is happening is called vaginal atrophy and just as a muscle begins to decrease in size and shape when not exercised, the same thing happens to our vagina. Studies have shown that consistent sexual activity helps to promote lubrication of the vaginal walls and to maintain the shape and strength of the vaginal canal.  So it is not only important to have regular sexual activity, but also climaxing to exercise those muscles and bring blood flow to the area.  

Sex is a big part of a healthy marriage, and I applaud the husbands out there who are our biggest cheerleaders, and approach with patience and understanding their menopausal wives.  The bedroom romp takes on a whole different meaning when it comes to our aging bodies.  We will be the biggest investors of lubricants, gels, and creative play to maintain a healthy sex life.  The important thing to remember is not to get frustrated, relax, go with the flow, and just have sex.  Schedule a sex date with your spouse and focus on the feelings, sensations, and enjoyment of just being together.  That is what it is all about anyway, giving of ourselves to each other, without inhibition, embarrassment or shame for what we are going through, but a greater sharing experience and acceptance of who we are as women.  Place no expectations on the sexual experience and bask in the moment of play time with your spouse. 

Sex and menopause are just another part of our journey in this life and we do have a choice of how we will handle the changes.  It is important to be pro-active in taking care of our sexual bodies and applying whatever healthy measures that will enable us to feel good, sexy and confident in this area.  Avoiding the subject will not only create a dysfunctional vagina, but also an unhealthy marriage, since sexual closeness is an important part of expressing our need and want for our spouse.  Apply the “use it lose it” philosophy to your changing body and you will be on the right track to a healthier vagina through menopause.   

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FIT AT 50!

Stay Healthy!

Darla

I COUNT QUALITY NOT CALORIES

I stopped counting calories years ago, and simply made my focus on eating healthy quality “real” food each day.  I like that motivational poster that says “no one has ever gotten fat eating too much kale” and this is really true and can be applied to most of the healthy food choices out there.  I do not feel the need to keep track of ingredients I know are providing health benefits and awesome nutrients that keep my body looking and feeling the way it does.  I keep my refrigerator, pantry and counters stocked with plenty of organic vegetables, greens, fruits, yogurts, raw nuts, lean meats, and my list goes on and believe me, I am stuffing my face every three hours or less with a nutrient dense fiber rich food.

Maintaining a healthy body is about living a quality life and that means being concerned about the quality of food that I eat.  There is a big difference in consuming a McDonald’s Big Mac and fries compared to an organic chicken breast with a sweet potato and mixed greens.   The latter will be more nutrient dense, health beneficial and less calories, but to the eye will appear like more food.  This is a great example of why I do not bother with counting calories.  As long as I am eating meals like organic chicken and greens, the need and stress behind counting calories is pointless.  I eat for health and listen to the cues of my body that tell me to fuel up.

When it comes to buying my groceries, I hit the perimeter of the store and steer clear of the aisles full of processed inflammation causing crap.  Take into consideration your local grocery and how it is laid out, generally produce to the right or left, dairy to the back and following along to the meat counter on the opposite side.  I stick to my list in hand and the only extras that I dash into the forbidden center would be for dark chocolate, red wine, or something organic like packaged Quinoa.  I really enjoy the local farmer’s markets and stake those out for my produce as much as possible, and I adore the organics at Costco.  I believe in keeping my healthy food intake simple as well.  The food gets too much credit for being complicated when trying to adopt a healthy lifestyle and that is such an unfair assumption. 

Take an organic apple for example, and appreciate the nutrient value and simplicity of this “fast food”.  Now add natural organic peanut butter to that apple and a power fuel meal has been created.  I do not find that difficult and I apply this type of philosophy to all my healthy foods.  I am sure we all know how to prepare and cook an organic chicken breast and other than on the grill, one of my favorite methods is in the crock pot with some fabulous spices or salsa.  I also enjoy sweet potatoes and will prepare those with an olive oil rub, and finish off this meal with a spinach salad topped with walnuts, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  I am talking about quality food to create a quality healthy body.  Think about our ancestors, what they ate, and how it was created.  It was the simplicity of organic lean meat, dairy and produce from the land eaten throughout a busy physical day and the thought of maintaining a healthy body was not even a thought.  It was lived every day and that is what I think about when I am living my life as a healthy person and eating the way that I do. What I do count is quality when it comes to my calories and that works for me. 

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Stay Healthy!

Darla

SET YOUR BOUNDARIES

It took me many years through this journey of life to learn how to set boundaries and even what the heck that meant. Think of a boundary as a shield of protection around you and one that will provide health and happiness.  Go deeper with the meaning and understand that boundaries are an important part of self-love and not allowing others to treat you in a way that is not healthy for you and your life.  When boundary setting is not demonstrated for us as we grow up into “adult world”, the struggle to understand how to implement them can be difficult, and sometimes scary.  The sacrifice of self to the point of mistreatment by others can be the result if boundary setting is not put into place.  Boundaries make a clear statement of what is not allowed when it comes to each person, and when those lines are crossed, it is a painful process for the one that has been wronged in that way. Sometimes clear communication of the boundary can resolve the conflict and other instances will require radical choices of removing ourselves from the situation altogether.  The most uncomfortable part of a broken boundary is the trust that was there before has now been chipped away into doubt.

I am all for doing whatever it takes to learn how to set boundaries: counseling, support groups, church guidance, etc.  Once the gift of boundary setting has been established in life, it provides a confidence, strength, and overall feeling of worthiness never experienced before, and it will seem as if life has begun in a truly healthy way for the first time.  Once boundaries have been set, it is important to honor yourself by remaining true to those decisions and not allowing anyone or anything to rob you of your shield of self-love.  Even the best of boundary setter can backslide and be tempted into old patterns of trusting someone to the point of letting down a boundary, but in the end it leads only to anger, resentment, and hurt.  Along with the pain will be the shame felt personally for allowing it to happen in the first place and feeling the sting of failure to ourselves.  Boundaries teach us how to respect ourselves enough to know how we want to be treated, and further what is acceptable in our lives.  Boundaries remove the doormats that we as people may have once been, and replaced with a security door of emotional ability to conquer any circumstance placed in its’ way.  

Emotional health is a large part of our physical health and discussing topics like boundary setting are at the top of my list when it comes to being a healthy person.  The journey has been a tough one, but the positive result of learning how to set boundaries has created the person that I am today and I love myself for that. 

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LOVE  a Splurge Now and Then

Stay Healthy!

Darla Leal, Fit at 50